Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Soapbox Predictions - The Year Ahead



Well, here goes. I’ve never written anything like this, but it seems the thing to do now that I’m publishing my very own blog. I’ll adjust my Nostradamus hat, jiggle my Magic 8 Ball, and weigh in on what I think the coming year has in store. Book mark this entry, unless I totally fall flat on my face, in which case forget you ever read it. But if I luck out and get one or two right, expect to see me posting about my genius prognostications.

Politics - Get Ready to Vote Again
You read it here first (unless you’ve already read it somewhere else) Canadians will be heading to the polls yet again, no later than the fall. Stephen Harper will spend much of the year putting out fires started by socially conservative members of his caucus. Backbench Conservative MPs, fearing their time in power is running out, will push to have issues like Same Sex Marriage and Abortion put on the legislative agenda. The opposition parties will sit back salivating as Harper’s minority government tumbles further and further in the polls. There will be no coalition, instead a new minority government will be formed with Liberal Michael Ignatieff installed as Canada’s 23rd Prime Minister. With our base currency unit referred to as a “Loonie” its only fitting our PM should be called “Iggy”.

The Economy Worsens
I really want to be optimistic, but my Magic Eight ball won’t let me. I see the housing crisis worsening in the U.S. as fallout from the sub-prime mess spills over into the broader mortgage market. Inflation picks up steam, the result of the United States flooding the market with freshly printed pictures of Benjamin Franklin. Canadians are hit hard, but things are somewhat better here as the Loonie soars in value against the Greenback, once again moving well above par.

Sports - More Scandal
A major sports celebrity will be in the news for doing something incredibly stupid and illegal. This is a no brainer, and will probably be the only thing I get right.

Environment and Weather
Somewhere in Canada global warming guru Al Gore will be burned in effigy. “Effigy”??? “I thought you said he was gonna be burned in Canada”??? After being arrested, protesters will claim they were simply trying to keep warm.

Canadian Soapbox – Canada’s Number One Blog
Readers flock to Canadian Soapbox to read the sage and well thought out commentary of creator and publisher Gordie Canuk. Revenues from ads on the site soar, allowing Gordie to splurge on an expensive dinner, with everything Super-Sized.

Happy New Year All

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